The wee hours of our monthly AgentQuery Connect, Speculative Fiction group chat produce the most interesting writing exercises. My collegues decided it would be fun to write a funny eulogy or death scene for fellow members (wish I hadn't gone to bed early that night).
The first hint that I had "died" came in the form of an apologetic email from Michelle Hauck. The subject line read, "Sorry I took advantage of you," and ended with, "Don't be mad, okay?"
Then I read the post:
I’m stunned to announce the passing of Angie Sandro, beloved wife, mother, critique partner, and lately popular actress in Korean soap-opera dramas. In lieu of flowers, please follow her blog or like her Facebook page. (I’m not kidding, folks. Get someone to Like her page or Angie will seriously haunt us forever, hurling hoodoo curses at us.)
In what some are calling a bizarre accident, Angie was taking a long bike ride with her father-in-law. While pedaling, trying to watch the Lizzie Bennett Diaries on her phone, and composing the blurb for the unwritten fifteenth sequel to Juju’s Curse, she swerved off the path and into a swamp-like area to be immediately snapped up, bike and all, by a gator. Fortunately, Angie was too thick-skinned due to all the summer marathon sessions at her favorite spot, Speculative Fiction Group on AQC. The gator, believed by authorities to be released into the wild by the fringe environmental group, Make California Florida, spat her out. Unfortunately, it had great aim and launched her into a pit of quicksand.
Glub, glup, glub, that’s all she wrote.
Angie will be greatly missed by her legions of fans, living and ghost, her CP partners, family, and of course creators of Korean dramas, which she tirelessly promoted through her charity, “I Don’t Understand the Language, But I Can’t Stop Watching.” Now what are you waiting for? Like that page!
I've always wondered how I would pass. I just never realized how freaking dramatic it would be. Thanks to Michelle, I get a little taste of the other side. I also have a warm fuzzy (slightly terrified) feeling inside at how well she knows me.
In lieu of flowers, please leave a comment. And you know, follow my blog so I won't haunt you--FOREVER, muwahaahaa (cough)haa!