NaNo UPDATE, DAY 26

It's the final countdown.

For those of you who have made it to the finish line--congrats.

To those of us still limping along. We still have five days. We CAN bring this home!

With an illness then holiday drama, I thought NaNo would be a bust again this year. Granted the month isn’t over. I still have time to crash and burn, but I’m more hopeful about finishing than I was three days ago.

 

On day 23, I was at 31,000 words. If I wanted to a have any chance of finishing on time, I had to write 10,000 words by Monday. I spent 12 hours on the story on Saturday. Sunday, I edited my critique partner’s story during the day. That night I wrote another 4k. I’m officially caught up. If I can write the necessary 1700 words a day, I’ll finish on time.
 

Okay, enough with the statistical data. Boring, right?

Last week, I asked about POV, and I received a lot of advice. My thanks go to those of you who took the time to share your views and encouragement.

Terri Bruce, author of HEREAFTER, gave the answer which made my decision.

“Hmmmm...I have seen the use of two different tenses, I think, but I can't think of any of the book titles. However, keep in mind with the tense change, what you're saying to the reader is that the first person character is telling the reader what happened AS IT HAPPENS, while the 3rd person character is telling the reader what happened AFTER THE FACT. If that's what you mean, then it should be fine (the examples I'm thinking of are usually suspense/mystery/thrillers, where one person is telling the story after the fact (like the detective/cop) and one is telling it as it happens (usually the bad guy), but I've also seen it in mother/daughter women's fic - with the grown up daughter explaining the present day problems in the past tense and then the book switches to the mom's PoV in present tense as she relates her life story). I'd have to check but Paulo Coelho may have used two different tenses in The Witch of Portobello and I think possibly Amy Tan in The Bonesetter's Daughter. But if you mean for your characters to both be telling the same story at the same time (e.g. as it happens), then you'd really need to use the same tense I think.”

 

I wrote the second POV character, Landry’s chapter in Present/1^st person, and his whole personality flowered upon the page. He had his own voice, his own views and interpretation of his world which was totally separate from Mala’s. He allowed me to explore an otherwise closed part of the story, and in turn, made the story deeper and richer than it was with the single point-of-view.

I’m 150 pages into a story that I find to be even more thrilling than the original.

I think I always worried about that. I’ve read a few sequels that couldn’t stand up to the original. As if some essential spark which infused the first is missing from the second. That doesn’t seem to be the case with this story (of course, I'm biased, lol.) I think it's because I know the characters and their world so well now that I’m able to build up on it with layers and depth.

It feels pretty cool.

So this question is for those of you who have written sequels or read sequels. Was your sequel difficult to write or easier? Do you often enjoy reading about the same characters and what would you suggest makes the sequel better than the original? Or is it even possible in your view to recapture the magic of the first book?

REVISING HOUND OF ANNWYN

As I drove to work last week, I let my mind sort of drift. I watched the cows in the pasture, stared at the hot pink, post apocalyptic looking sun, and despaired over the smoke from the wildfires burning in the foothills which made the pretty pink sunrise. Like I said, I wasn’t thinking about much of anything when my epiphany struck like an owl slamming into my windshield.

Let me back up to provide those of you who are new to this blog a bit of background for this particular ah ha moment. I began writing HOUND OF ANNWYN back in March of 2010. It features two of my favorite characters, Juliet and Jude.

Here's the query I used back then.

Juliet finishes Jude’s sentences, feels his pain, and gleefully exploits the fact that he can’t bluff her in poker. She takes their psychic connection for granted until her heart stops beating at the exact moment that her twin brother dies in a car accident. Nearly eight minutes elapses before their resurrection.

 
A year later, seventeen-year-old Juliet’s near-death experience continues to haunt her. A ghost contacts her in the high school bathroom and a sexy, albeit annoyingly conceited boy with wings—who claims to be her guardian, but definitely no angel—saves her after she’s attacked by a hell hound in the woods.


Her brother’s emerging, uncontrolled empathic and telekinetic abilities—he accidentally hurls an alarm clock at Juliet’s head while she sleeps—are eroding his humanity and threaten to blow their familial bond apart at a time when they need to be united.


Unaware that the darkness infecting their relationship is a manifestation of the evil that returned with them from the underworld, its taint spreads unchecked through their small mountain town. If the twins can’t resolve their differences and link their powers, neither they nor the people they care about will survive. And this time, death’s grip will be eternal.

This story owns a special piece of my heart because it was my first Young Adult endeavor. It is the reason I fell in love with YA. I worked on this story for three months, and then entered the story in the Speculative Fiction Marathon at agentquery connect. I then went through twelve intense weeks in which this manuscript was critiqued my peers. It was a total blast, and I found my critique partners through this process.

I wrote this story by alternating each chapter to tell the story from their view point. In the initial draft I used the Roshamon Effect, only at the time I didn’t know there was a name for this particular format. Here is the Wikipedia definition.

In the Roshomon style, I wrote the chapter from the protagonist POV; however, at certain times they would come together in a scene. The scene was written through the lens of the character whose point-of-view the chapter was written in. Then in the next chapter, the same scene was shown from the alternate twin’s point of view. I liked this effect because it showed how flawed Juliet and Jude’s relationships were with one another, and how their perceptions of their sibling’s motivations were skewed.

For example:

Jude's POV:

Electricity sparked between Juliet and Gwynn as they stepped toward each other. The hairs on Jude’s arms stood on end. The static hum in his head grew louder, almost distinct as if words were trying to break through the block that had been constructed in his mind.

Juliet gave Jude a tight smile then addressed the real subject of her ire. “I’m a grown woman, Gwynn. I’ll kiss anyone I choose. See that boy over there?” she pointed at Randy Lipshultz. “If I wanted too, I’d kiss him, right now. You wouldn’t be able to stop me.”

Juliet's POV:

Juliet gave Jude a tight smile, but her attention remained focused on Gwynn. “I’m a grown woman, Gwynn. I’ll kiss anyone I choose. See that boy over there?” She pointed at a random guy, praying she wouldn’t get called on her bluff, because... eww gross, she’d once caught Randy eating his boogers.

“If I wanted too, I'd kiss him, right now. You wouldn't be able to stop me.”

Unfortunately, seeing the scene multiple times regardless of the differences inherent to the point-of-view characters perceptions failed to hold the reader’s attention. It needed an in-depth overhaul,

Out of necessity, I put the revision on hold as I worked on other projects. That’s not to say that I haven’t worked on it for the last two years. I have. If you were to read the version I queried in 2010 to the current version, you would see that I've removed the Roshomon Effect. You can check out the updated sample pages here.

The last issue I need to correct is my inability end the story without a cliffhanger. I think my epiphany will solve this problem. What is funny is that I should've seen the answer to this issue a long time ago. It is so freaking obvious. I guess I needed distance from the story to be able to see the answer to the problem I was having with finishing it.

So, I'll let you know when I finish this final (okay, it probably won't be the last) revision.

QUEST & THE PERK OF DUAL POV'S

I received my awesome edits for QUEST from Kate Evangelista. I'm so excited. I can't wait to get started. In a previous post I introduced my protagonist Malik, and his friends, Books and Raphael, but boys aren't the only ones who can go on an adventure. It’s actually my girls, Nevan and Dominique, who rescue the boys whenever they jump into something feet first without waiting to see if it’s quicksand.

When I started the story, I knew going in that at times the group would split up. I wanted a way to show the entire story, not just what Malik sees. My goal was to have Nevan have a unique voice that is so different from Malik that you know you're in her narrative point of view without having to look at the chapter title. I also wanted a character who would round out Malik, who got pretty obsessive in his desire to save his mother. There were times when he put this goal above his friends wellbeing.

Nevan models by example. She’s not flashy like Dominique. Or bold like Raphael. She’s not as intelligent as Books, but not many people are. But, she has common sense. She's also fierce and passionate underneath her shyness. She would die for her friends, but she’s smart enough to figure out a way to survive against crazy odds.

I’d like to introduce you to my second narrator, Nevan Callahan. The excerpt begins in Nevan's chapter after the kids come up with a plan to find the golden apple.

by Kiwi Sandro

Plans swirl around me like hair in a drain. It’s kind of cool to be included. And it felt nice to have them listen to me earlier since that doesn’t happen a lot. Most kids ignore me. The curse of being so gosh darn shy means I’m invisible. Grandma calls me a dandelion hidden in a patch of daisies. I think she only says it to make me feel special so I’ll stop crying over getting teased at school. She loves me. She couldn’t know that with my hair, being compared to a fluffy dandelion kind of hurts.


My head dips and white-gold bangs hide my eyes. I pretend to study the ants marching two by two across the floor, but really, I’m spying on my friends. Dominique’s doing that creepy, mind talk thingy with Books, and Malik’s watching her like she’s a bouquet of roses—beautiful, sweet smelling—the total opposite of a dandelion. The glow on his face makes my tummy burn. It’s so not fair. Why do I have to be a snot-making weed, waiting to be yanked out by the roots and thrown in the compost pile? Why can’t he see me as a flower?


Raphael stretches upright and bounces up and down on his toes. His cat-like green eyes flash. He’s up to something, and I don’t want any part of it. He’ll get us busted, because his plans always flop. He never thinks them all the way through. Like when he tried to rescue the stray dogs in the neighborhood. He totally should’ve realized the Brute would try to bite his face off.  I mean, duh!


He gives us a grin so full of wickedness that if he’s not careful, horns will sprout out of his forehead. “Eduardo saw me come in here. He’ll be waiting for us to bounce.”


“Seeing you this happy about Eduardo makes my spidey sense tingle. Have you given into the dark side of the force?” Malik asks, eyes narrowing as he rubs his hand across his forehead, smearing a streak of dirt across his cheek.


I dig into my pocket, pull out a bacterial hand wipe, and pass it to him. He stares at the little square for a minute like it’ll bite him then awkwardly takes it.


“Thanks, Nevan,” he says with a slight smile.


I ball my fingers into a fist, trying to hold onto the warmth of his fingers brushing against mine, and smile back.